Muggle Journalism for Upperclassmen
by Saia May Dursley
Summary: How can one class, with Rita Skeeter, no less, change Harry's views of life completely? HPBZ, HPDM, (HPHG), RWHG
1. Chapter 1

Harry sighed heavily, and began complaining again. "Hermione, if you had just let me take a normal class, like 'The Advanced Flying Lessons', I would be having so much more fun! Me and Ron could be teasing Draco about how he fell off the br-"  
  
"Harry James Potter, one more word blaming this mess on me, and I will have your tongue!" She huffed, and glanced around the room. "Luna, how many more people are going to show up?"  
  
The sixth year answered back in a husky, yet dream-filled voice. "Four."  
  
"But Luna, we are the only three here."  
  
"Three plus four still equals seven, does it not? That's all that registered this year."  
  
Harry choked on his gum before answering back. "Seven? And they haven't cancelled the class?"  
  
A new voice came from the door. "That would be seven disappointed students and future writers, Mr. Potter."  
  
He recognized the voice with dread. "Rita Skeeter, what are you doing here?" He turned around, expecting extravagant colored robes, and the acid green quill. What made it worthwhile was that she was wearing plain black work robes, with a silver quill sticking out from behind her ear. "Did you come looking for a story?"  
  
She smiled sweetly, and sat on the edge of the teacher's desk. "Dear Harry, the world does not revolve around you. And my name is Professor Skeeter, if you don't mind. Well, who are we missing?"  
  
Harry was shocked into silence, but Luna answered quickly. "Abercrombie, Euan, Creevey, Colin, Creevey, Dennis, and Zabini, Blaise."  
  
"Thank you, Luna dear. One point awarded to Ravenclaw. Now, time for the introdu-" The door slammed open, cutting off Rita. Three haggard looking boys came in, stammering excuses. "Names, houses, and reasons of being late, now."  
  
The first boy answered. He had blond hair, and green-blue eyes. "P-p-professor Skeeter, we're sorry, b-b-but Blaise-"  
  
"Are you Blaise?"  
  
"N-no, but-"  
  
"Are any of your friends Blaise?"  
  
"No, but-"  
  
"Then what is your name?"  
  
Harry found his tongue, and tried to spare the younger boys. "Professor, these are Euan, Colin, and Dennis, the other three Gryffindors."  
  
"Alright, here's a deal for you. I will take a few minutes to describe the procedures of this class. Then I will take off points. But now, it's time for the introdu-" Once again, Rita was interrupted. This time, obviously by a Slytherin.  
  
Blaise strode into the room, chucking to herself merrily. Her long black hair trailed behind her, making it seem as though she were wearing a cloak. And her emerald green eyes were those to rival Harry's. He felt himself sit a little bit straighter, as Blaise turned to the professor. "What did I miss?"  
  
"Are you Blaze Zabini?"  
  
"It's Blah-zay. Blaise Zabini, of Slytherin."  
  
"Well, Blaze, why are you late?"  
  
"Because, Professor Skater," she answered back ruefully, "I was torturing a trio of Gryffindors."  
  
Rita scowled, but motioned the Slytherin to a seat. "Are we expecting any more interruptions? No? Good. I am Professor Rita Skeeter, and this is Muggle Journalism. Most wizards only read the Daily Prophet, and that's only in the United Kingdom. This class is to emphasize the importance of the muggle world on the wizard world, in every aspect. We will be studying the London Post, the New York Times, the Beijing Examiner, and other important newspapers from around the globe.  
  
"We will be profiling other teachers, as well as your fellow colleagues in crime. No, this does not mean 'What's your favorite color' and leave it at that. This includes past, present, and future. In the packet you will be receiving next week, you will see three finished profiles. You will receive mine, one other teacher, and one student that is not yourself, yet in this class. The format used there will be the format you use all year. You will expand on this, re-do these profiles, and turn them in one week after recieveing them. For each period in the term, I expect a new student's profile to be handed in by each of you, not to mention one teacher before Christmas, and one before final exams.  
  
"My disciplinary actions are unique, and thorough. Every day, each student has an allowance of five points. If you get five points taken off of your house, then you earn an evening of detention. I take one point off per minute late, one point for any form of disrespect, and one point for harassing other students. So here is the run down. Creevey, Creevey, and Abercrombie, you each get three points away from you, for three minutes late to class. Potter, one point away, because you spoke when not needed, a form of disrespect. Zabini, you get six points off for being late, three points for torturing Gryffindors, and one point for disrespect for a teacher. I suggest that you come to me after class to discuss your points off, and your detention. Any other questions?" Blaise raised her hand. "Yes, Miss Zabini?"  
  
"Could you repeat that all, only slower, and in English?"  
  
"Another point off, Blaze. I suggest you watch your tongue. Now, I will hand out your personal surveys. You have to the end of the period to finish these and turn it back in. It is your first test grade of the year." She began to pass around a stack of parchment. "Find the scroll with your name on it, and pass on the rest."  
  
The stack reached Harry, with his scroll on top. He grabbed it, handing the rolls to Hermione. Opening it slowly, he began reading the instructions. 


	2. Answers to Chapter 1

Harry Potter  
  
Muggle Journalism  
  
Professor Rita Skeeter  
  
Week 1  
  
As your first assignment and grade, you should not take this lightly. You must answer each question truthfully, and thoroughly. Your questions are not the same, as the people on either side of you, so do not bother to check their papers for answers. I will grade on your ideas, descriptive words, and experiences in words.  
  
1) What is your name? Harry Potter  
  
2) Middle name? James  
  
3) Where is your name from? Harry was my great uncle on my mother's side of the family, and James is my father.  
  
4) What are your goals for the future? To get revenge on Wormtail and the Dark Lord for killing my parents.  
  
5) What about your love life? To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I always assumed I would marry a nice girl, and have a couple children that would grow up to be wizards, too.  
  
6) Who are your best friends? Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley  
  
7) Why them? Well, they have always been there for me.  
  
8) Do you know their middle names? Lynne and Orson?  
  
9) How long have you known them? Six years.  
  
10) Have you ever thought of abandoning them? ...Yes.  
  
11) What happened? They always seem to blame me when something horrible happens to any of us. It's always my fault...  
  
12) What made you stay with them? Well, they care about me. They have bailed me out of so many jams, just as I have bailed them out, too. We owe each other our lives, and we hold to that.  
  
13) Would you ever date your best friend? Me? Date Ron or Hermione? The thought had never crossed my mind, but it wouldn't really work out.  
  
14) Who are you currently dating? Ron's little sister, Ginny.  
  
15) What is his/her full name? Virginia Ann Weasley.  
  
16) What color are his/her eyes? ...I don't recall...  
  
17) Who do you see as your greatest enemy? Tom Riddle.  
  
18) What is their full name? Tom Marvolo Riddle.  
  
19) What color are his/her eyes? Green.  
  
20) What is the most illegal thing you have done? When I was fifteen, I tried to use the Crutacious Curse on a Death Eater. It didn't work...  
  
21) What is the most advanced magic you can do? A Patronus in the form of a stag.  
  
22) Who is your favorite teacher? Professor Remus Lupin. He was awesome!  
  
23) Your least favorite? Professor Deloris Umbridge. She was horrid...  
  
24) What is the class you dread the most to fall asleep during? Potions. Professor Snape would have me hung.  
  
25) What did you dream about last night? I was running down a long dark hall. When I reached the end, there was no door, so I drew a door with my finger, and opened it. Behind the door was Draco Malfoy on his knees, grimacing in pain with his arm in front of him. Riddle had a hold of his wrist, wand engraving something on him. I ran to them, and through them. I heard Malfoy's voice around me, saying, "It's too late. Not even the Golden Boy can save me now." And I started glowing yellowish, turning golden, and I woke.  
  
Congratulations, you have finished your first test. Please hand it in to Professor Skeeter at this time. 


End file.
